THE DEATH OF MY BLOG, THE REBIRTH OF MY COUNTRY

Lesh Esma 7arb Ahliyye...

La anno ne7na barra ou ahlna fiya.

ONE TIME INFRACTION

I will bend the 'No gory pictures' rule on my Blog one time and one time only, to post this touching image from the latest bombings in Bikfaya.
What is really horrible about this picture is that look on the old woman's face, a look I must have seen a million times (Maybe 3.5 million times?) before. It says: This is Lebanon, this has always been like that, as far back as I can remember... It is not about to change, I can't help it so I better get used to it.
A look of resignation.

LEBANESE INNER DEMONS, OR IMAGE ASSOCIATION

Early morning hours, I see large clouds of steam pouring out of this chimney... I'm immediately transported to Lebanon, to the scene of the latest bombings... Smoke fills the air, cries echo all around me, people sob... I move my head, shake these visions from my hair, and continue on my way to the gym.

A STORM IS ON THE WAY...

Let us close our windows to the darkness that wants to push in...

Let us close our hearts to the calls to hate each other...

Let us tolerate difference inside and refuse interference from out...

Let the fucking forecast improve for Christ's sake!!

And may the purity of our mansion be preserved...

YA RABB, STOR.

L'ENTENTE NATIONALE

WE FUCK WATANI

THE CURRENT SITUATION IN ONE SENTENCE...

My country is a sinking ship because all the rats have decided to stay on board.

NEW BLOG

Check out my new photoblog in the OTHER BLOGS section.

Jim Morrison lyrics

The assassin's bullet
Marries the King
Dissembling miles of air
To kiss the crown.
The Prince rambles in blood.
Ode to the neck
That was groomed
For rape's gown.

QUATRE SCENES D'OCTOBRE PRES D'UNE CABANE DANS LES BOIS

ONENESS AT HOCKING HILLS

OPP V: DRUNKENNESS

OSTFEN PLAYS WITH PHOTOSHOP IV: AN ELUCIDATION OF VISION

I suck the world in through my eyes.

Perception is born through twin maelstroms that fuse into one beam on the screen of my mind.

OSTFEN PLAYS WITH PHOTOSHOP III: RORSCHACH TEST

Look at this picture and tell me what you see.
I will then tell you what disorder(s) you might have.
Free of charge.

ROAD TRIP 2006: A WINDOW

A picture I took driven by my unexplainable fascination with windows...

Every window is a door of perception

Every door is a window of opportunity

Ostfen, 2006

DE LA NATURE DE LA REALITE

Cette photo incroyable de dromadaires a été prise dans le désert par George Steinmetz. Regardez bien, les dromadaires dans la photo sont les petites lignes blanches, photographiées d’en haut. Le noir n’est que leur ombre !
C’est (à mon avis) une version photographique réussie de l’allégorie de la cave de Socrates/Platon. Comme quoi la réalité n’est pas toujours telle qu’on la perçoit, ou qu'on veuille nous la faire percevoir.
Et surtout en politique.

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG...TUNE LIVE INTO MY THOUGHT STREAM

'Ok, so the war is over... sort of...
So, should I keep this blogging habit of mine?
A side of me tells me: it started with the war, so it is only fitting that it should end with it.
I also think: the blogging takes too much time away from my research (I just put this sentence here in case my advisor ever stumbles across this blog, which is not very likely)
No, seriously, it is a big time investment... is it worth it?
Maybe I should wait til the next war inevitably shows its ugly head, to start again...
I am lost.
I mainly started to keep sane, to exorcise the destructive feelings I experienced during the war. So, what's the point in continuing now?
Plus, what would I write about? Wars? Death? Love? Life? Research? Science? Enlightenment? And who would read it besides the few faithful visitors?
Screw this shit. Hit the save as draft button. U'll publish ur ramblings later. Go to sleep.'

OSTFEN PLAYS WITH PHOTOSHOP: CLUSTER BOMB EXPLOSION

A cluster bomblet explodes, killing a curious little girl who picked up the strange-looking object.
We may think the war is over, but it really isn't...
This is an everyday occurence in my country, where children are often the victims of the adults' childish games.

EMPREINTE DE MON VIDE

This is just to say
that I have nothing to say
My void records itself

through my absence

THE ILLUSION OF JUSTICE, OR LOVE THY NEIGHBOR REVISITED...

Not that I would wish harm on my fellow man or anything, but you'd think that the tornado could have taken away my sex-offender neighbour.

Some reverend here (not very reverent if u ask me) had talked about tornadoes as weapons of mass destruction wielded by God to destroy evolutionists who voted against the teaching of Creationism at school in one american city, so why not tornados as sexoffender-busters? (This has to be the worst run on sentence i've ever written, I love it).

Justice? It is always a work in progress, a neverending ascension.
Unfortunately, so is the achievement of litterary brilliance.

OFFICIAL VERSION

Aujourd'hui, pas un champignon nucléaire mais un champignon quand même:

Je suis dans ma salle de bain. Au dehors, la sirène d’alarme résonne lourdement. ‘Tornado warning’ ! Une tornade a été aperçue au dessus de la ville, et chacun doit se planquer chez lui dans un coin sûr pour attendre le passage du monstre. Je pensais qu’au sortir de ma salle de bain, j’allais me trouver le nez en l’air, le reste de mon appartement disparu...
Mais non, pas cette fois...
Il fait très sombre dehors.
Presque autant que dedans.
Mais merde, voila que la sirène revient, plus stridente que jamais...

THE NEXT BIG QUESTION...

IS WHEN.

THE EVOLUTION OF ADVERTIZING: REALITY COMMERCIALS

I feel Lebanon and Israel are part of a weapons commercial, and that there is some advertizing going on, that is aggressive to the point of generating an actual war, a real conflict. You know how some commercials actually name the competing brand and attack it? Well, what is still happening now in Lebanon is very reminiscent of a nasty commercials war, mainly between a Sino-russian brand and an American one. We are obligate actors in a farcical, truer than life Reality commercial...

EMPATHIE RESULTANT D'UN SURVOL (OVER-FLY RESULTING IN EMPATHY)

At 2.30 pm two days ago, beautiful sunny day, I walk back to work and as I stand at the door of the Cancer Hospital, a military fighterplane screams by at a surprisingly low altitude. The sound is terrifying, the entire world shakes, and I imagine the feeling of being at the other end of that plane, blown up to pieces by a megaton bomb.

Then I imagine the use of such force to kill children...
I can't help but picture flies on the ground being swatted by a huge, powerful hand and reduced to a paste.

And my body shakes uncontrollably as a wave of fear slaps my being.

(Pic: Soaring, A. Wyeth)

CHOSE PROMISE, CHOSE DUE

AN INTROSPECTIVE INTERPRETATION OF WORLD POLITICS

'THE TIMELESS FIGHT BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL

RAGES WITHIN EACH ONE OF US'

Ostfen, 2006

A RELATIVISTIC APPROACH TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

Today, i received in my mailbox this notification that a convicted sex offender was living in the appartment building right next to mine. Apparently, Ohio law stipulates that you should be informed about any sex offenders living in your neighborhood, for your own protection. My first thought went to my girlfriend who often parks her car and comes to visit me in the evening. Then I thought: Man, who do you think is better off, her, here, living next to a sex offender or her parents and mine back in Lebanon, living next to Israel?
And then I thanked my lucky stars and stopped fearing my neighbour on West 8th.

SHOULD I BUY SOME SHAVING CREAM?

BEFORE AND DURING THE WAR...

Will there be an after?

A 9.2 QUAKE HITS MY BELIEF SYSTEM...

The process of growing up tends to reinforce in our psyche certain beliefs that come to be taken for gospel. However, events outside of our control shatter our worldview and our conceptualization of what surrounds us and the rules by which the universe abides.
The war on Lebanon has been such a shattering experience to me, and has hit me deep, very deep within my belief system. At stake is The Rose (more on that later), and a few of those beliefs I have had for most of my life:
1- Human beings are fundamentally good
2- What drives most people is the pursuit of lofty ideals and not materialistic aspirations
3- All people are alike and equal and have the same inalienable right to pursue happiness

We engage in games of blaming each other while children die on all sides, and all those pretending to care really don't. I look at the monsters on TV and curse them everyday. Tonight, I had a dream. I was looking at a mirror and I saw myself as a monster in it... I screamed silently... Then I cursed myself.
Humanity is losing its appeal at a hallucinating speed, and I understand what God must have felt when he decided to flood our planet. I pray for another one (flood) every night, and that not one of us will survive to perpetuate our monstruosity.
Amen

HISTORY OF THE MIDDLE EAST II: BRAVADO...

After a (very) brief period of disbelief (Where is the world? Does nobody care? Can't anyone hear me? God? Hello?), indifference was answered with BRAVADO.


(Lebanon's penis not to scale)

HISTORY OF THE MIDDLE EAST (PART ONE): FIRST, THERE WAS INDIFFERENCE...

Courtesy of Crunch chocolates

VAMPIRE CHRONICLES II: WINE TASTING

From a book for connoisseur vampires:

'Of special note among all blood wines are the Lebanese Château Qana 1996 and 2006 vintages. The first was produced during operation "Grapes Of Wrath" while production of the 2006 vintage is still ongoing in grapeyards in Southern Lebanon, under the auspice of the IDF (Irritated Destructive Foreigners, Inc.).
The lebanese red is a complex, small bodied wine aged for 3 months in oak coffins. It is appreciated especially for the hint of despair, the musky adrenaline flavor, the cluster bomb aftertaste and the fruity phosphorous aroma.
Terror stays in the background in terms of aroma and flavor, but seems to lend some breadth on the palate and some grip in the finish.'

VAMPIRE CHRONICLES (PART ONE): DATING

Count Dracula to Hot Vampire Chick: Hey, I got us a great bottle of Lebanese red blood!!! I thought we could hang out at my place, drink it and go from there. What do you think???

Hot Vampire Chick to Dracula: Lebanese blood??? You are such a peasant! Everybody knows how cheap it is. Gentlemen vampires only get their dates Israeli Blood bottles, they are so much more precious!!!

BOMB IT BLACK...

إخوتي اللبنانيون
إن كنتم تبكون ابكي معكم
ان كنتم جائعون فلن أكل
ان كنتم في الظلام اكون ال جانبكم


Mes frères libanais,

Quand vous pleurez, je pleure avec vous.
Si vous avez faim, je ne mangerai pas...
Et si vous êtes dans le noir, je serai à vos côtés

En arabe, le mot pour Obscurité, Zalam, et le mot pour Injustice, Zolm, ont la même racine. Etrange coïncidence .
En ce moment même, un peuple tout entier est tenu otage par l'état d'Israël. Plus de fuel, de plus en plus de gens vivent à la lumière des chandelles. Le monde n’a pas bougé, ne bouge pas… Bougera-t-il quand l'obscurité sera complète ? Peut-être que le monde veut bien que la nuit tombe sur le Liban… La lumière si crue qui illumine massacres et désastres humanitaires dérange bien des consciences…
BOMB IT TO BLACK...

WAR TEARS AT ME...

On the outside I look calm.

On the inside, I burn...

X-FILES: THE LIBAN-LAIT INCIDENT

News agency: Israeli airforce conducted bombings raids on a terrorist location in the lebanese Beqaa valley. When confronted with the fact that the facilities bombed where only a dairy farm, an israeli military spokesman said: "we have received information that terrorists in lebanon are receiving iranian training and are now able to shapeshift into dogs, cats, and even cows for that matter. Israel must find those terrorists wherever they are and stop them from producing milk at all costs."
Ils sont fous ces israelienS.

CRI D'UN LIBANAIS...

Innocents massacrés par des bombes ignobles,
Sang libanais, tu coules en abondance…
Rien ne nous reste du pays des cèdres nobles
A l’aide! Secourez les vestiges de l’enfance!
Eternel Liban, finira-tu par mourir ?
Liban chéri, te fera-t-on toujours souffrir?

Ce n’est pourtant pas ta faute si tes voisins
Refusent ta main tendue et veulent te dévorer
Israël ! Qui convoite belles plages dorées,
Montagnes enneigées, et plaines de raisin…
Israël, sous prétexte qu’on est terroristes,
Nous enterre sous ses missiles à jamais…
Et personne n’entend nos enfants affamés
Liban, en ton sein, plus rien ne subsiste…